Today I became a woman...

and bought myself two REAL bras for the first time in many years.

e're body gettin crunk, boys try to touch my junk

just kidding! but seriously....this song is ridiculous!



I watch videos like this when I should be looking for a job. I'm working on an application right now...and I've only finished three of nine questions. I also need to write a cover letter.

I'm starting a job for Sundance next Thursday. I'll be at the airport showing rich and maybe famous people to their cars. Funny. It pays well too. Alpha and I will be crashing up in SLC from the 21-31st. Should be fun.

I've realized that I need a fixed schedule if I want to be productive. Thefore I've decided to...

1. Help Leland out with his print gallery
2. Volunteer at the State Hospital again
3. Doula training is Feb. 4-6
4. Sewing lessons with Lady Danburry on Saturdays

Sewing Classes
Saturdays from 3:00 - 4:30 at Lady Danburry's (55 North University Avenue Provo).
$20.00 for each class
All fabric supplies included
Just bring your sewing machine
January 16: Clutch
Learn how to design and create your own clutch.
January 23: Tote
Learn the basics of appliqué and stenciling.
January 30: Basic Alterations
Learn how to hem and taper your jeans and trousers.
To reserve your spot, please email ladydanburry@hotmail.com.

This just in: I'm so desperate I've been calling places to see if they're hiring. I thought I called the Women's Shelter in Orem but turns out I called a completely different place. I was even talking to them like they were the shelter, telling them I did their domestic violence training a couple years back etc etc. Poor man was so confused...and I am still blushing. Forest was helpful though, he said, "But the don't even know you're you in real life." Very good.

I'm feeling very buh. I think what I need to do is write an hourly schedule for myself. It's hard though because I need to be available for my mom who just had surgery on her foot. Poor woman.

christmas time

Christmas day

My boy Forest got in a car wreck with his Family. Their car rolled 2/3 times when they slipped on some ice and went over the edge of a hill until a tree stopped them. I'm really glad he's alright and his family too, of course.

Here's a picture.

know what i'm saying?

possibilities

Today I ran into a very old friend who said to me, "When are WE going to date, Sam? One of us is always dating someone."

My response, "Jared, you had plenty of opportunities. Plen-ty!" I don't know if he was serious but I think he was a little...

Is this life?!! How does anyone ever decide anything?!!

Studying for my Abnormal Psych test I came across this Tennessee Williams quote...

"We have to distrust each other. It's our only defense against betrayal."

This makes me sad. And it gives me an anxious pit in my stomach. I don't think like this...and it makes me sad that people do. But more now than any other time in my life, I get it. Certain experiences can do a lot to a person.

Positive note ending:

Driving home in the snow was beautiful. Powder quiet. I loved it. I loved the pack of deer that I came across too. And I loved the GooGoo Dolls on the radio, singing Iris. It reminds me of when I told him I missed summer and the mona swing rope and how the swing rope was our thing that summer and how he said "you were my thing this summer" or something along those lines. And it all made me feel very romantic and I wished he was sitting next to me in the car, enjoying the snow and the heated seats.

plans.plans.plans.

OK, so HERE'S the deal.

1. I mailed my application to Italy TODAY! I hope I get the job!
2. I'm going to start my doula training! Feb 4-6 and then I have to do a bunch of other requirements.
3. I'm also going to get certified to be a nurse's assistant (CNA) at MATC in Orem this winter!
4. I'm going to find a job (or two) so I can afford all of this!

William

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

soft whisperings from on high

As I was walking through the HFAC the other day I heard someone calling my name softly...oh so softly. I looked around and didn't see anyone, so I kept walking. Again, I hear my name echoing softly through the HFAC. I look up and there he is...Allan Ludwig whispering my name from the top floor. Sweetest hello I've ever received.

I graduate soon.
My grades are going to be crap.
I need a job.

BUH.

I reeeeeeallllyyy like my boyfriend.

sometimes we think we know ourselves

I really wanted to go see the opera 'Tales of Hoffman' at BYU. But I didn't tell anyone except myself.



Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis...it was written for 8 choirs with 5 voices in each choir, that's a 40 part motet. You can imagine how messy that might sound if you don't know your part or don't sound blended. It's also a really long piece. But it's beautiful and angelic sounding.

I miss singing in choirs. I miss my dance lessons and voice lessons. I miss acting.

I'm not moving to Barbados anymore. My sister and her family moved back after a week due to many complications.

Hello winter 2010.

Bumming...so hard.

So I've been sick...

Forest and I were sitting around on Sunday, doing homework, chatting with my mom. She's always a little coughy...not sure why...she's probably a little sick too. Anyway. The point is, she was coughing a little here and there. But the thing about my mom's cough is that it is really hard on the ears. She somehow manages to get it to a frequency that really gets your eardrums ringing. Sometimes when she coughs my sister and I will look at each other and cringe (mostly as a joke). It's kind of a point of solidarity for the whole family. Sorry mom. :(

So! Forest and I were sitting on the couch and since I've been sick for the past week I let out a really intense cough. What does Forest say? "Your cough sounds like your mom's". That is probably one of the worst things he could say to me.

I don't think he realizes that by saying those ill fated words he is sealing my fate...that I am turning into my mother.

Star-crossed...that's what I am. Woe is me. Doomed from the beginning. My hamartia....oh what a world.

But I think we can all admit....we do look pretty cute together. (Love you mom!)

I had a dream last night that I ate deli meat. Of all the meats in this world my subconscious chose nasty, processed, deli meat.

Apparently I have poor taste.